no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
