Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
