I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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