As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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