covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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