Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
