Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
