I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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