Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
