Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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