Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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