drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
