This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
