I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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