Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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