so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
