i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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