Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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