cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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