Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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