I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
