I need help removing her.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
