Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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