Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
