I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
