If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
