In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
