just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
