North Korea, Best Korea!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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