i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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