awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
