So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
