If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
