I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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