I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
