So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
