meet me or not, i'm out of control
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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