remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
