At least make sure they are 18
Why
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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