I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
