and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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