i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
