Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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