I think I died a long time ago.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
