am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
