literally had 100 drinks last night.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
