It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Found your dick twin last night
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
