Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
