So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
