Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
