I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
