i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
