she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
