I look better un-naked...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
